Whereupon I Celebrate Turning …

So I’ve been putting off writing this blog mainly because I promised ya’ll I’d confront the question of whether to confess my age on this, my birthday.  I don’t why it should be a big deal … the pressures of society, I suppose, that youth is to be celebrated and aging something to hide – or at the very least ignore.  Over the years I’ve found myself feeling some panic that there’s still something to prove before the end of my life, and I have so much yet to accomplish before even approaching the satisfaction of a life well-lived.  At the same time, my philosophy has always been that one can continue to achieve regardless of age – easier to sell to others, than to myself, I’ve discovered.  I think my feelings are probably pretty universal and so I’ve given myself the self-talk to set aside the insecurities that tell me I can’t continue to grow and thrive.  One of the strongest motivators is setting the example for my kids – I mean how can I tell them to go for it – to never let the attitudes of others define their opinions or influence them against pursuing the things they are most passionate about.  I remember thinking when my kids were young, that if I could just get them into adulthood, my job would be easier and I could kinda cruise through their 20’s and beyond.  I’ve come to realize that as parents, we are a role model for our kids for the rest of their lives … and ours.  That means that whenever I’m tempted to give in to the easier but less authentic choice, my kids are watching and may well form their own choices based on the strength or weakness they see in me.  Don’t get me wrong, I make mistakes, and they  definitely see them, but they also see how I handle the fall-out from those mistakes … so I’m never really off the hook.  It’s one of the beautiful but sometimes terrifying consequences of being a Mom.  So as I slog through writing this blog, I realize that the only honest thing I can do is to come out and unashamedly proclaim that today I’ve turned 55 … and no matter my age, there’s still life to be lived.

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