As I sit in the back yard with a glass of wine this evening, I am acutely aware once again that this household that has been full of noise, activity, joy, sometimes strife, laughter, tears, and milestones galore is on the brink of being empty of offspring for the first time since 2001. I’ve been allowing myself moments to sit with the feelings – and there are many – and just marinate in them as I contemplate the conflict of emotions at odds in my head and heart lately. 

I know that when your kiddos go off to college it’s “see you later” and not “goodbye”…but this time (with them BOTH leaving for the first time ever) feels somewhat like the end of an era. 

The question that has kept me up at night… “Did I tell them?” 

I like to think I’m full of great advice, …but as so often, I find strength in my village, so I reached out for the thoughts of others in my life. 

My tribe is wise and had much to say in the form of “nuggets of wisdom” for our young adults as they move on. The following pearls are a combination of my own thoughts and theirs.

• My go-to advice to all high school graduates is “Always have the Strength to ask your parents for help/advice if you need it”.

Sometimes they think they should have all the answers in this next step of their journey and feel like failures when they find they don’t.

• Dig deep intellectually. Learn to think critically and challenge even your own beliefs.
• Make the scary phone calls you don’t want to make like calling someone to fix something in your dorm or apartment, make a doctor’s appointment for yourself. Things that seem like no big deal to us parents, we sometimes forget they actually might seem scary to them. 
• Always think about safety!
• Have the time of your life because you will never again have 24/7 access to so many friends!! Go fly and have fun!
• Keep a journal. I didn’t and there were so many hilarious occasions, crazy nights and weird/awesome people I met. Your memory goes when you get older.
• If you choose not to decide about something, you still have made a choice.
• There are so many reasons why it is called “protection”. Use it.
• Take a “small, easy, fun” class every semester if you can. 
• I tell my boys nothing is final or permanent- majors or schools. The path you’re on is part of your story and it may or may not always be right for you. Don’t feel like you have to stay the course for us. This is your journey. We are here to support you 100%. You don’t have to know what you want at 18! If it’s not working, try something different. College can be both wonderful and tough. It really depends on the kid and what particular experience(s) they are exposed to. Sometimes it’s a great roommate who becomes a lifelong friend and sometimes it’s a nightmare. 
• One thing I learned these past two years is that my college experience won’t be theirs. College expectations are often set too high by well meaning parents and we forget how lonely and isolating it can be. I would encourage her to go in with an open mind and get involved, but remind her it takes time to find her people. from a mom of a college junior, HS senior and sophomore. This parenting gig is hard stuff!
• Meet your professors…or at least your TAs.
• Visit your nearby relatives often!!
• Well my father always told me if no one’s dead or no one’s in jail it’s not a crisis. Pretty much everything has a solution, you just have to work on it.
• In the dorms, keep your door open when possible. It will make it easier to meet new people. On that note, Be open to meeting and getting to know ALL kinds of new people. Don’t just gravitate to the familiar.
• When something you are learning interests and excites you…listen and pay attention. That is why you are there. It may not be what you THOUGHT you wanted to do or major in, but that is the beauty of these years.
• Take advantage of all the “stuff” to do on campus (activities, clubs, guest lectures, etc.). Try new things out you never thought would interest you. You might even surprise yourself!
• Call us when you’re sad. But don’t forget to call us when you’re happy, too.
• Don’t rely on credit cards. If you’re not used to using one, it’s an easy way to get in financial trouble.
• Don’t skip class unless you are sick. You get more from being in person than you can get from borrowed notes.
• Practice self care and make use of downtime, but remember…things happen when you leave your room.
• Foster your new friendships. The possibility is there that they will become some of your very best friends throughout your life.  
• The same goes for your childhood “friends from home”.  They will be the ones you always feel at home with – even if you live hundreds of miles apart and only see eachother on vacations and online.
• And most importantly, YOU GOT THIS. We’ve watched and nurtured you your entire life and know without a doubt…you are ready for this moment.